Global Crossroads Study Abroad Blog

I know I don’t update this blog like I should, or like I thought I would even. I feel a little embarrassed that I couldn’t force myself to keep up with this as much. I think I’ve found that most of what I’ve learned while over here has been very personal and difficult to filter out. I write a lot, but not for this.

Here I feel like a different person. Back at home I am much more academically curious, astute, and organized. Here, I will purposefully forget to do assignments because I know the teachers don’t care if I do them or not. I still do well in classes, luckily, but I spend most of my days truly just being LAZY.

I feel like I am ready for the next adventure or stage in my life. One thing I’ve learned is that I don’t get easily attached to places as much as I get attached to people. I miss the community of Minneapolis. I don’t feel like I can stay here in Montpellier long enough to truly develop a community, other than my classmates and the girls from my program. However, this isn’t me getting integrated into a French community, it’s me existing in a bubble within French culture as I float, wander, always maintaining an outsider’s perspective. I’m an alien collecting data for study, and not really immersing myself. I guess that’s why sometimes I like to be completely alone and walk around the city. I don’t stick out directly, and I can hide and pretend, only having to say “Pardon, Merci” and other random one word sentences.

I still am intimidated when I go to restaurants, as I always mess up. It’s something that I really have to get over. It’s that awkward point in learning a language where I can write an 8 page essay on French Lit, but I can’t for the life of me recognize half the things on the menu – and end up ordering raw shellfish. At least they don’t speak English to me anymore, even when they know that I speak English and I know they speak English. To me, that’s the minimal form of acceptance – that I’ve mastered some cultural nuance enough that they respect my ability to try and speak their language without them reverting to mine. I don’t know what it is I’m doing differently now. Maybe I just don’t have that look of fear in my eyes, or I don’t hesitate too long before asking a question.

Whatever it may be, I’m not here long enough to actually try to integrate myself into the community and the language, and I’m here too long to have it be considered a vacation. Just when I’m feeling like I’ve grown to understand how this place works I’m going to take off back home.

Now I have the travel bug, I know that much. Not only that, but I know how I like to travel, and how to navigate those pesky trains. I’ve gone to Barcelona, Geneva, Avignon, Sete, and Paris. I wish I could have gone to more places, but my weekends (and budget) were very limited. After the program I’ll be visiting Saint Malo, Paris, and maybe Arles with my Mom and her friends from college. 

Anyways, I’ll write more later, but this will do for now.

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